As I sat at the ice rink last night while the dude did a skating clinic, I found myself pondering the concept of discipline. You see, in order to be truly successful, you have to be successful in every aspect of your life- whatever success looks like to you. Success is going to look different to everyone depending on what your goals are. Discipline, and true success, come from being able to master yourself. I believe the four areas where you need to master your self-discipline are your physical fitness and health, mental fitness and health, emotional fitness and health, and your intuition and confidence. Discipline will lead to holistic health in every aspect of your life. Think about it, if you have a thriving business, but your physical and/or mental health are suffering can you really consider that success? If you have a ton of money, but you don’t have a good relationship with your spouse or children, can you really consider that success?
So, what is self-discipline? Self-discipline is maintaining control over yourself. This can show up in a variety of ways in our lives. One way we focus on this in our home is by making a list of nonnegotiable items that must be done every day. For the dude, his nonnegotiable list looks like (in no particular order other than what comes to mind as I think about it)
- School work/typing/coding
- Playing the piano/drums
- Reading at least 20 pages
- Making his bed/cleaning his room
- Working out
- Hockey drills/tennis drills
- Eating a healthy diet with enough calories to support his workouts and sports practices
- Spanish practice on his app
- Cleaning the cat box
- Working on his dice
All these things must be done daily. He also does his own laundry, takes care of his own sports equipment, and cooks at least one meal for the family every week. Hockey practice/games, tennis lessons, matches, Civil Air Patrol, D&D and other family time are also sprinkled in the mix.
Another thing to consider about discipline, it’s not just what you do, it’s also what you don’t do. Ignoring temptations and focusing on what you want long term, instead of indulging in pleasure at every whim in the short term is discipline. Sure, it would be great to eat chocolate cake for breakfast every morning, but in the long term you would end up sick, undernourished, overweight, and feeling like garbage. Yeah, I get it, all your friends are going out on Friday night, but you are scheduled to work first thing Saturday morning. You made a commitment to yourself and your employer, and you need to show up alert, well rested, and ready to work. Discipline isn’t always the fun and popular thing to do, but it’s important to keep the promises we make to ourselves and others. Additionally, what’s “popular” is subject to continual change, so you’re going to really struggle if you worry about what other people think you should be doing. You do you boo.
Discipline is showing up and executing no matter what the weather is, no matter what your friends are doing instead, no matter how you feel. Honor the commitments you make to yourself and others. Discipline is working out even though you are tired from not sleeping well the night before. Discipline is giving your best effort even when you don’t want to. Discipline is being present with the people in your lives when they are in front of you. Discipline is absolutely the difference between being average and being successful.
How do you develop discipline? Make no mistake, it is like a muscle, and you will need to continually exercise in order to keep it from fading. These are a few of the ways I believe you can set yourself up for success and develop discipline.
- Keep The Promises You Make
Discipline is all about consistently doing what you said you were going to do. Period. Make a plan, outline goals to accomplish your objective, plan out what steps you need to take each day to accomplish your objective, and then execute those actions. If you don’t, your discipline will diminish instead of growing. Your confidence will also suffer if you show yourself to be someone you can’t count on. If you say you’re going to work then work and do it well. If you say you’re going to workout then show up and give it all you’ve got. Leave it on the mat and feel good about the effort you’ve put in. If you say you’re going to read a chapter ever day then set a time to read and show up every day. I personally love to read for pleasure every night before bed. It helps me relax and calm my mind. Keeping the promises you make to yourself is the foundation of discipline. It’s not easy, but it is simple. Some days are easy, some days aren’t, but it doesn’t matter. Show up and do the work anyway.
2. Be Accountable
What can you do to maintain accountability for doing the things you said you were going to do? Is there someone in your life who is also striving to develop discipline and be the best version of themselves? You can always reach out and try to find an accountability partner. At the end of the day though, you have to hold yourself accountable. Are you falling short on your workouts? Are you getting in your workouts but eating a lot of fast food? Do you come home tired at the end of the day and skip your reading? Identify the obstacles and figure out a way to overcome them. Plan A isn’t always going to go off flawlessly. The great part of personal growth is that when something isn’t working you can adjust! Change the technique before you just give up on the goal.
3. Don’t Give In To Excuses
How many times have you heard someone say…. Well I’ll start my diet or workout plan on Monday? Bruh it’s Tuesday, why are you going to wait almost a whole week before you start working on your goals? I get it, Monday seems like a great day to start, but do you know what’s even better? Starting today! “Well, my birthday is next week I’ll start after that so I can enjoy my birthday.” Nonsense. Why do you have to completely destroy yourself to enjoy yourself?? Have some balance in your life. Progress not perfection. What if you eat healthy all the way up to your birthday, indulge, and then get back on track? Every choice you take trains your brain and reinforces your self-image. If you want to be a disciplined person, but you constantly use your excuses to prove to yourself why you aren’t a disciplined person, then you never will be. Make sense?! Stop making excuses. You can do this!
4. Challenge Yourself
Nobody ever got better living inside their comfort zone. I know, it’s heartbreaking, but it’s true. You will build your sense of discipline (and your confidence) by stepping outside of that comfort zone and trying something new or pushing yourself to get better at something. You have to be disciplined to do hard things. I have a mantra that I constantly say to myself, especially when things suck and I’m struggling. “I can do hard things.” That’s it. Speak discipline into yourself. When you are eyeball deep in struggling and you want to quit just take a really deep breath and say, “I can do hard things”. Then go do it. You may not get it the first time, or even the tenth, but you’ll never get it if you give up.
5. Make A List
I talked earlier about mine and the dude’s nonnegotiable lists. I have it written out so that he can check it off every day. I do the same in my daily planner for me. Life gets busy. We get stressed and overwhelmed. Having a list helps to ensure that nothing important gets forgotten. If you find that you’re struggling to get all your important tasks done, then maybe take a look at the less important things that are filling your time. What can you let go of? Every nonnegotiable task you complete is a win, and every day you get all your nonnegotiable tasks done is a win. As the wins add up it becomes easier to be disciplined.
6. Build Good Habits
Along with the list, building habits can help you stay disciplined. If it becomes routine, then it’s easy to just get it done. For example, I take my daily vitamins with lunch. Every day. I wake up first thing and have an electrolyte supplement before I start my day. These things are a habit I don’t even have to think about anymore, super easy. If you are consistent about doing things at a certain time, or with other tasks, then you have less to stress and think about. Discipline is easy when it’s all habit and routine. A byproduct of being in the military is that I discovered a love for getting up at 5:00 am and working out first thing. That gives me energy for my day, my workout is done, and I don’t have to stress about when I’m going to get it in, and I feel fantastic.
Discipline is absolutely necessary for success. When you cultivate discipline in your life and routine you are likely to be a lot less stressed trying to get everything done. When you prioritize working out and eating well you’re more likely to be healthy and feel better. Discipline is a skill that you have to put effort into. Keep the promises you make to yourself. Try to automate as much as you can to create stability and predictability in your life. Life is hard, discipline is easy. Do what you can to make your life a little easier! What do you think? Is there anything you would add to this list of mine??
PS I’m going to link a couple of my favorite books about discipline, and I really hope you check them out. As an Amazon affiliate, I earn a small commission, but you don’t pay any extra.
75 Hard by Andy Frisella- This is an actual program designed to help you cultivate discipline. It’s tough, but so worth it!! Let me know if you give it a try, I’d love to support you through it!! This book can be purchased on his website here: 75 HARD: A Tactical Guide To Winning The War With Yourself (andyfrisella.com)
Next up is Relentless by Tim S. Grover. He was a coach and trainer to a lot of pro athletes, notably MJ and Kobe. This book is a fantastic read, and it really gets you thinking about your individual levels of discipline and commitment. Highly recommend. You can get it on Amason here: https://amzn.to/3LbxkkC
Another of my favorites is Unbeatable Mind by Mark Divine. I love all things Mark Divine, he just gets it, and he’s super relatable. I’ve loved all his books so far, and his podcast is fantastic. You can check out Unbeatable Mind here: https://amzn.to/3XRXbFI
The last one we’ll talk about today is Discipline Is Destiny by Ryan Holiday. I also love all things Ryan Holiday. Stoic philosophy, super easy to read, and so much goodness crammed into every book. Check it out and let me know what you think! You can get it on Amazon here: https://amzn.to/3XUf46X